Stumbles, concerned family members and friends, a "wake up, sis" moment

It's okay to slow down

One of my goals this year was to have a consistent fitness routine. To make this goal happen, I try to have a flexible, low-stakes approach with my workouts. I usually go for light and intuitive workouts such as stretches and walks. I’ve been walking pretty consistently ever since the end of 2023. According to my phone’s Fitness app, I’ve been walking consistently for 78 days—an achievement that my clumsy self can be proud of. The level of consistency that I bring with my daily walks has given me the confidence to take on loftier fitness milestones, such as upping my daily move goal or step count or toying with the idea of participating in a walkathon.

Even though I work hard to make my goals happen, the rational and almost pessimistic part of my brain tells me that achieving one’s goals may come with setbacks, just like how life usually presents itself. Rather than fighting against these setbacks, I must build my tolerance around those things. Shit happens all the time, but that doesn’t have to stop you from going after your goals. You have to change your strategy.

Unfortunately, that setback with my fitness goals happened last night. I recently tripped while going on my daily walk. While I received minor scratches and swelling in my knees, the concept of tripping and getting injured has given me anxiety about my overall mobility.

At this moment, I cannot help but feel frustrated with myself. Not to mention, I disappointed my sibling M, who warned me multiple times to be careful outside, since I’m the point person for our out-of-the-country trip. We’re seeing Taylor Swift in less than three weeks, and I have to reserve my physical strength for long stretches of walks while out of town. However, M’s approach towards safety-related advice was something that I found disagreeable since it triggered my demand avoidance struggles. I can’t fight them to change their reaction, since they’re just looking out for me. That’s something I’ve grown to be aware of. I can’t force people to change their reactions toward events or circumstances, just because their reactions trigger negative reactions and feelings within me. The only things I can do are to build tolerance and empathize with their anxiety.

This experience has been another wake-up call for me. My 2024 has been filled with one wake-up call after another. At work, I’m reminded to step up and improve my skills as a writer and ideator. The strategies that I developed as a writer do not work for me anymore, and I have to be more open-minded in my growth as a writer and creative. In terms of my health goals and my relationships, I’m also reminded that I need to take care of myself, pursue gentleness, and grow without the need to internalize the mean comments I’ve received growing up. They shouldn’t serve me anymore, right?

Anyway, I’m back to recovering and giving my body the rest it needs. Here’s to rest and powering through the growing pains.

Until the next brain dump,

Lea