Notes on Work-Life Balance and Identity from The Bear
I think I found / the / TV show that I can resonate with
Warning: Spoilers from ‘The Bear’ are included.
Have you ever watched a TV show that’s so relatable, it feels like it was made for you? That’s how I feel about The Bear.
Before anything else, what is it about? Well, this show is about a young, award-winning chef named Carmen “Carmy” Berzatto who comes home to his hometown after he inherits his late brother’s restaurant. He has a ton of challenges stacked in front of him: unpaid debts, unruly staff, and a rundown kitchen. He also has some deep personal shit to deal with. From a macro perspective, this show is also a depiction of the culinary industry post-COVID, where restaurateurs, chefs, and other important members of the kitchen strive to keep their restaurants running. It’s a high-stakes industry. You’re expected to give so much, yet you get almost nothing in return.
As someone who works in a service-oriented industry such as advertising, I can empathize with the struggles and victories of the characters in the show. I can relate to Sydney’s character the most: Just like her, I was raised by a concerned, yet stern father. When it comes to work, I can be very impatient and hard on myself, but I am also very passionate in what I do.
The advertising industry, just like its F&B counterpart, can be just as thankless, stressful, and full of pressure. I’ve had bosses, seniors, colleagues, and clients give harsh feedback to me that I’ve internalized to the point of self-loathing. I guess this part is what I relate to with the lead character, Carmy: I dive myself headfirst into work, and I let it consume me in order to prove my worth in my field. In doing so, I remember leaving the office at 2:00 am just to get things done and showing up to assist at work events with an empty stomach. Those are moments that I’m not proud of.
Watching this show is another reminder of how work can be an all-consuming thing, and that wrapping yourself up in work can be unhealthy. It also reminded me to let go of my need to overcompensate for my existence by always pushing myself to be the best (according to neuronormative standards). In the clip above, Chef Luca’s words of wisdom to Marcus really hit home for me. I tend to have tunnel vision with my work, and I usually ignore the little glimmers of inspiration in order to be the best. I also put a lot of pressure in myself because I wanted to be The Best Writer. However, the more I devote myself into work, my performance suffered. I realized that I needed to be more open to the world and not compare my own journey to others, since we all go through our lives at our own pace.
While attaining work-life balance is a lifelong journey, I’m glad that I’m making steps to not let work consume me. There’s life beyond work. My worth is not based on my ability to thrive in neuronormative and capitalistic standards, or if I’m “cool” based on the stuff or the experiences that I’ve acquired post-bullying.
Anyway, enjoy this clip of Cousin Richie vibing to ‘Love Story’:
Yes chef,
Lea